The AniMessenger gallops towards 500 Followers, having bamboozled over 400 already! Will the Weary Reviewer complete his quest and secure the Holy Grail? Or will his blog self-destruct, raining fire upon the AniWasteland from whence it came? Tune in next month!
Anyway, thanks for the follows and likes! With that out of the way, time to address the singular question burning in the collective blogosphere psyche–when will The AniMessenger review good anime? Answer: Does the world need another Your Name review? No? Well, then sink with me into the Slough of Despond as we satirize the–
Top 5 Worst Anime I Might Review:
5) Pikachu’s Winter Vacation–What happens when Ash and the gang leave their monsters home alone on Christmas? Many stupid things: a cacophony of titular poké-grunts, drunken Psyduck outbursts, and a whole slew of Holiday Hi-Jynx.
4) Skelter Heaven–One word:
3) Hand Maid May–A harem anime in which our protagonist, Kazuya, coddles his miniature sex-robot, er, maid–said maid’s vag doubles as a USB port.
2) Mars of Destruction–A twenty-minute exercise in futility.
1) Dragon Ball Z Movie 4: Lord Slug–Before the monstrosity known as Resurrection: F, Lord Slug held the title of “worst DBZ movie of all time.” On second thought, it still might–plot holes big enough to send a fully-charged Spirit Bomb through and a villain who dies when whistled at. Keep the senzu beans close for this one.
In the meantime, please look forward to my next “hot take” on DarliFra, analyzing Zero Two’s evolution into Hellboy, wait, Hellgirl. Or skip that one and indulge in my first quote unquote “good” anime review–My Hero Academia‘s Season 3 premiere. Fear not, The AniMessenger always manages to tease out a morsel of ridiculum from even the most sterling subjects.
And, please remember:
~ Don’t Shoot the Messenger